Now That He's Out
The Challenges and Joys of Having a Gay Son
by Martin Kantor, MD
May 2013, 238pp, 6 1/8x9 1/4
1 volume, Praeger

Hardcover: 978-1-4408-0261-4
$53, £40, 45€, A76
eBook Available: 978-1-4408-0262-1
Please contact your preferred eBook vendor for pricing.
Written by a longtime psychiatrist who is himself gay, this unique guide will help parents deal with discovering they have a gay son, allowing them to more comfortably "come out of their closet as their son comes out of his."

This is the first book to focus on the parents of gay sons and the mixed feelings they may have following a son’s revelation that he is gay. On the one hand, parents want to be honest and open both about and with their son. On the other, they sometimes wish to cover up or ignore their son’s sexuality—then are ashamed of themselves for feeling that way. The goal of this book is to enable parents to come to terms with such complex emotions so they can enjoy a genuine, positive relationship with a gay son.

Using examples from the author’s psychiatric practice and from his interactions with friends and relatives with gay sons, the first section of the book discusses the issues parents face, or think they will face, raising a gay son. The second part analyzes the causes of problems, while the third provides “therapy” devoted to helping parents manage and resolve negative or contradictory feelings and uncertainty. A bonus chapter suggests ways gay sons can help their parents parent them in a supportive, mutually beneficial way.


  • Explores ways parents can deal with negative, often-secret thoughts about having and parenting a gay son
  • Helps parents of gay sons see factual distortions they need to revise, misunderstandings they need to correct, and neurotic notions that need undoing
  • Includes revealing and instructive vignettes from parents and sons who have been the author's patients, personal friends, and acquaintances
  • Recommends steps to be taken by parents based on time-tested and proven psychological principles
Martin Kantor, MD, is a Harvard-trained psychiatrist who has been in full private practice in Boston and New York City and active in residency training programs at hospitals including Massachusetts General in Boston, MA, and Beth Israel in New York, NY. He also served as assistant clinical professor of psychiatry at Mount Sinai Medical School and clinical assistant professor of psychiatry at the University of Medicine and Dentistry of New Jersey-New Jersey Medical School. Kantor is a fulltime author of more than 20 books. His published works include ABC-CLIO's Now That You're Out: The Challenges and Joys of Living as a Gay Man; Homophobia: The State of Sexual Bigotry Today; and The Essential Guide to Overcoming Avoidant Personality Disorder.
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